Connect More With Your Family This Year - Tip Number 1 - Schedule Screen-Free Time
2021 has FINALLY arrived! Were you worried that we would just move to December 32, 2020 rather than January 1, 2021? Only me? Okay, then. Either way, I think we can all agree that 2020 was a year of SURVIVAL mode for SO many.
If you had asked me in December 2019 (when my family was sandwiched shoulder to shoulder with thousands of our closest friends in front of Rockefeller Plaza just to look at a lit Christmas tree) what I thought we would have been doing in six months, June 2020, I would have told you living our best life: getting ready to go on all the family vacations, going to see live music, and DEFINITELY going to movies on those rainy summer days. I am sure you have a similar story. I think most of us do. Regardless, though, we made it! That alone is something to celebrate.
If in 2021, you simply survive again, that can be a celebration on its own. Seriously. But, if you want a little more from 2021, then I hope you start to follow along with the HHW blog.
Each month, we will focus on different topics, uncovering them a little more each week. This month, January, we focus on something we DO have control over and can improve upon in 2021 despite what happens with the vaccine, virtual learning, or vacations. I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions or Intentions this year, but rather ideas that you can pick and choose from to build what works for you and your family. To start, I want to share with you some different things you can add to your family routines to help you feel more connected in 2021.
There is no doubt in my mind that you and your family have spent A LOT of time together in the last several months. Like, a LOT. But, do you feel any more connected to your family members than you did in 2019? Maybe your answer is yes, and maybe it’s no. The truth is that spending time together in the same room doesn’t necessarily mean that you are connected or bonding. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with being in the same room and everyone doing their own things, that can be great, too, but to truly connect with family members, and to build a deeper connection, we need to be intentional about the way we spend our time. So, what can you add in to help build this connection?
Over the next four weeks, I will share four different ways that you can improve your family connection this year. Let’s start with the one that you’ve probably seen a few times already. This one seems like an “easy” one to implement, but it’s harder than it sounds: Schedule Screen-Free Family Time.
Have you watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix, yet? I recommended it sometime in 2020. Phones and their apps have shifted from tools that we use to get things done to advertising platforms that are designed to pull us in and keep us pulled in, calling out to us when we try to resist. Everything down to the color of your notification badges (the circle with the number) is designed to keep you checking your phone.
How many times has your family been in the same room together under the guise of watching a movie as a family but everyone is sucked into their phone or tablet? Maybe one family member is watching the movie on the TV, but everyone else is distracted? This would never happen at our house because we are all robots. I kid. This happens a good bit, and generally, it occurs when we are unintentional about our screen use. Sometimes, we need a little escape, and sometimes we need to intentionally schedule a time to connect without our phones to distract us at every vibration or ding.
So, for 2021, pick just ONE night a month for SCREEN FREE family time. For that one night a month, have everyone put their phones and tablets somewhere away from them and do something together as a family. Allow yourself to truly be present. Try not to sneak away to check your phone (that email can wait). Try to not even bring up things that don’t have to do with whatever you are doing at the moment. You don’t REALLY need to talk about that school project right now, seriously.
Need some ideas to get you started? Here are 12 inexpensive ideas, one for each month. Have each family member take turns choosing, or have them come up with their own ideas and start with those!
Game Night - Play a board game, card game, or party game like charades. You could do a family game night every month or add in some of these other ideas!
Stand up Comedy Night - Each family member takes turns telling funny stories or jokes to each other.
Paint Night - Paint a picture together of each paint the same picture on different canvases and compare.
Bonfire Night- If you have space and the weather permits, have a bonfire together. Take turns telling stories around the bonfire or make some smores. Have a musically talented family member? Maybe they can play or sing for you.
Craft Night - Pick a family-friendly craft and work on it together or each complete your own. Maybe you choose to theme your craft to the month or an upcoming holiday.
Night in the Kitchen - Have a family member pick something they would like to bake or cook and work together to make it happen!
Scavenger Hunt Night- Plan a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood or in the house. Have your family members work together to get the “treasure,” maybe a gift card to go get ice cream after or a new game to play.
Dance Night - Have a family member teach everyone a dance (TikTok? Swing Dancing?) or just have a dance party.
Nerf Gun Battle Night - Does this even need an explanation? How fun!
Camp Out/In Night- Have a tent and backyard? Pitch it and camp together in the backyard. No space outside or the weather too cold/hot/wet? Camp IN instead - pitch the tent in the house or build a fort with blankets and pillows.
Family Hike or Bike Night - Together as a family, take a hike or bike together. This might be a good one for summer when the nights are warmer and the sun stays in the sky longer. Perhaps end the night with ice cream in or out.
Time Capsule Night - Make a time capsule to be opened in 1, 5, or 10 years’ time. Each family member can put something in the capsule that they want to remember along with a story or memory they want to share with someone in the future. Add pictures and other items that your family decides on. Then, go bury it in a container that won’t decompose over time. Set a reminder on a phone for when you want to return to dig it back up and open it together as a family.
Ready to start building this connection? Can you schedule your one screen-free night for some time this week? Remember, a new idea is going to be shared with you next week - same day, same time - so be sure to check back. This one might challenge you a little bit more than the first idea we shared, but we think it is likely to get a quicker buy-in from your kids and teens.
If you feel like your family is struggling to connect and could use some extra support, we are here to help!
Healing Hart Wellness provides wellness support to children, young adults, and their parents through individual and family therapy, parenting support, and yoga/meditation instruction. Clients who work with providers at HHW struggle to cope with anxiety and manage stress, need strategies to increase organization/focus/impulse control, or are navigating BIG life changes like divorce, moving, or graduating high school. Please feel free to reach out to us to connect by emailing Courtney Hart at courtney@healinghartwellness.com.