3 Ways to Support Your Child this Pride Month
Happy Pride Month! Having a supportive family can be a lifesaver during difficult times and helps provide a strong foundation from which children can safely discover and build their identities. Here are a few tips for cultivating inclusive parenting that can be used whether or not your child identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community!
Remember, there is no “default.” No one way to parent works for every family and there is also no one way to live and express ourselves as people. There are often invisible expectations put on us that can make being a part of the LGBTQ+ community feel like something different or “other”. Many youth who are a part of the community feel like they have to “come out” to their family and friends because otherwise it is assumed that they are heterosexual and cisgender.
Instead of asking your teen son if they like any girls or your daughter if they like any boys, you could ask, “Are you interested in anyone? What do you like about them?” Using neutral terms can help give your child the space they need to be themselves and build their own identity. You can also consider if there may be activities, clothing, or behaviors that your child may not have been given the opportunity to explore because of their birth sex and make sure that opportunities aren’t being accidentally blocked from them because of stereotypes. Everyone expresses themselves and experiences life in different ways.
Be mindful of how you refer to others, including your child. Children pick up on how we view those around us and often apply our comments about others to themselves. Depictions of LGBTQ+ people in television and other media have certainly been improving but may not always show the best representation. Consider how characters are depicted and be mindful of your reaction to them. Children in the LGBTQ+ community who have supportive family members are much more likely to thrive, be happy, and build confidence.
At some point, your child might want to try going by a different name or using different pronouns. These changes do not have to be permanent to be worth taking them seriously and it is normal for children who are exploring their identity to try out a few different names. Practice any name or pronoun change both with your child and on your own to get better at using what they prefer and don’t be afraid to double-check and calmly correct any mistakes you may make. You can also talk about different situations such as how they would prefer you introduce them to others and how they would like to be referred to around peers, family, etc. This can be a great way to help your child build their sense of identity.
Don’t forget to highlight LGBTQ+ joy! Many topics surrounding LGBTQ+ rights are constantly up for debate online, in person, on the news, and legally at both the state and federal levels. It can be overwhelming and disheartening for a child or teen in the LGBTQ+ community to hear that their state is rolling back rights that could impact them or their friends. Support from family can make a huge impact on your child and there are many wonderful aspects of the community to be shared. There is rich history from all over the world that showcases the natural beauty and strength of the community. There are also different local groups to be found that often host celebrations and events to help build a stronger sense of community. As well as books for all ages that break down concepts, build confidence, and show children that they are loved for who they are.
This pride month, know that there is no one way to be human. Support your child as they build their identity, and remember to celebrate LGBTQ+ joy and achievements!