Cope & Connect During COVID-19
You wake up and get yourself some coffee, enjoying the few moments of quiet before you awaken the house. Once you start waking up your child(ren), the day involves making sure they are on their live sessions, helping them check off items on their to-do list, managing a meltdown or two, and corralling them back to their desk to finish their work. You feel pressure to be enjoying these moments, but in reality, you just want them to learn from their teachers at school, and you kind of feel guilty for those feelings. Sound familiar? You are not alone.
The times we are in are not fun-filled vacation times. Your young person is struggling with the disruption in their routine, and I would bet you are dealing with a mix of meltdowns, anxiety, trouble falling asleep, clinginess, difficulty paying attention, change in appetite, sadness, and/or frustration in your home right now. Let me repeat: you are not alone. Right now, your child needs you to help them figure out how to manage their feelings and survive this challenge. Right now, they need you to help them develop skills to cope and to connect. Let’s look at what this means and how to help.
Cope: Young people need to learn skills to manage their emotions in a healthy way. You may have noticed that your child is struggling to use the strategies they found helpful prior to this pandemic. Perhaps they are regressing or having more meltdowns. Let’s explore two different strategies to help your young person learn to cope.
When Your Child Asks You About a Mass Shooting: How to Talk to Children and Teens about Mass Shootings
This past weekend, in less than twenty four hours, there were two mass shootings. The weekend before yet another. Our children and teens are more plugged in than ever, more aware than ever. It is important to have an understanding of how to talk with them in an age-appropriate way. This includes what story to tell, how much detail to give and how to answer their questions.
Not sure how to handle the conversation? There's no one size fits all for any young person or any age, but these tips may help.
Let them lead the conversation. Depending on your child's age, they may have not heard one thing about the shooting (think early elementary or younger) or, on the opposite side of the spectrum, they could have over exposed themself already (think teens with their own technology).
If your child is younger than 7/8, and doesn’t bring up the shooting, you may not want to bring it up to them. You may end up scaring them and then having difficulty talking with them more. You may give them details they wouldn't have been exposed to otherwise. You may leave them with many more questions than answers. If they bring it up, allow them to share their feelings and to lead with any questions that they have.
If your child is 8/9 or older, they have likely been exposed to the story on their own, especially if they attend camp, daycare or school. Ask if they have heard about the shooting and what they have heard. Ask them their feelings. Ask them their thoughts. Let them lead you into the conversation that they are ready to have.